One of the main goals of active listening with an agitated person is reaching affirmation and accord. You are looking to try and find ways to agree with the person who is agitated. Even if you don’t entirely agree with the person, try to find at least a small way in which they may be right, or in which you can be on the same page, or team, with them. Some tips for getting there include:

• Where possible agree with the agitated person.
• Try to get ”on the same page” with the agitated person.
• Affirm or re-affirm the validity of feelings.
• Find ways to solve issues together.
• Try and get “on the same side” with the agitated person.
• Suggest solutions that draw the agitated person into deeper conversation or to consider more variables.
• Offer a sincere apology for any wrong-doing or mistakes. Not for an imaginary wrong, but a sincere apology for anything in the situation that was unjust; a simple acknowledgment that something occurred that wasn’t right or fair can go a long way toward making a person feel heard. Remember: it is possible to apologize without entirely agreeing or “taking all the blame.”
• Ask the agitated person to voice their criticism of the listener. (“What am I doing wrong that makes you so angry at me? Tell me, I can take it. Don’t hold anything back. I want to hear about everything you’re angry about.”) Simply venting can help calm someone.
• Do not personalize.
• Simply ignore or deflect questions about your authority, that challenge you, or that are insulting.
• Appeal to an authority outside of yourself if appropriate.